


12.25

by OtteryKhaleesi



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Charles Xavier Needs a Hug, Implied Relationships, Introspection, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 13:33:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15340926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtteryKhaleesi/pseuds/OtteryKhaleesi
Summary: Snow falls in a quiet cityWhile a fire burns insideAnd I’m wrapped up in a feelingGot you wrapped up in my mind […][…] And all I want is you tonight





	12.25

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I regressed pretty hard into being 16 again and writing trashy emo songfic about my poor mutant babies. I know "12.25" by The Maine is about Christmas, but the first time I heard it I thought it was about the time so... Here is a misinformed song fic. Also I have been out of the fanfiction game for so long so please be gentle with me.

_12.25_

_Snow falls in a quiet city_  
_While a fire burns inside_  
_And I’m wrapped up in a feeling_  
_Got you wrapped up in my mind […]_

_[…] And all I want is you tonight_

Flakes drifted slowly past the vast windows in the Xavier mansion, dusting the stone sills on the outside and very gradually piling up against the glass. Winter was hitting its peak now, the wind howled down through the courtyards as sleet and snow blanketed the peaks and troughs of the roof. Charles leaned his forehead against the cool glass, fingers trembling as they held a tumbler of whiskey in his hand. He let out a soft sigh and the glass misted for a moment, obscuring the weather outside.

Erik had never seen the snow fall on the mansion. He hadn’t been here long enough.

For the first time in a long time, Charles wished that he had his powers again, wished that he could reach out for Erik and touch his mind. Shaking fingers pushed his greasy hair from his face and he let his gaze flicker over the serene landscape in front of him.

Memories taunted him as the grounds became blanketed in white, images of the children running and playing beneath the very window he was leaned against.

He had never been strong enough to do this alone. He knew that now. The man who had been so full of life and excitement was a man he no longer remembered, lost so far back in the throes of his memory that he didn’t even know how to get back there any more. A soft sigh parted his lips and he pushed himself away from the glass, staggering on his feet for a moment.

“Hank?” Silence greeted his husky shout, only the slight echo of his words in the empty corridor. Placing down the glass on the window sill, he pushed himself off of the wall and took measured steps towards the staircase.

“Hank?” Again, silence. Slowly, Charles padded down the stairs and into the main room with the fireplace. There was no sign of his young friend, however, and with a defeated sigh he dropped himself into the armchair beside the fire. At least it was warm here, the flames licking at the stone back and kicking out some warmth against Charles’ cool body. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, wincing a little at the low level headache that had started building long before the snow had started to fall.

Being in this room was torturous, more so than it had been watching the snow cover up all traces of what had been.

Charles hadn’t been in here since Erik had left.

His fingers dug into the threadbare covering of the armchair, digging his fingertips into where there was a small tear and picking at the stuffing. Fluff coated his fingers and he sighed, fighting back the memories that threatened to overwhelm him.

 _“Charles?”_ _Erik’s voice was soft and lyrical, rousing the telepath from his sleepy state. He smiled lazily at him, adjusting his position in his seat and rubbing a hand down his face._

_“Sorry.” He said softly, leaning forwards and picking his glass up from the table. “Was I asleep?”_

_“Nearly.” Erik looked up at him, giving him a slight smile that he reserved only for Charles. “It was boring.”_

_“Sorry to be such a bore.” He yawned again, pushing his chess piece forwards and leaning closer to the fireplace to warm his weary bones. “Your move, my friend.”_

_“Predictable, Charles.” Erik admonished gently, though he leaned forwards and moved his piece across the board towards the telepath. “So very predictable.” Charles made a face in his direction, draining the last of his drink and setting the empty glass down on the floor beside his chair._

_“Nothing about me is predictable, Erik.”_

_“You raise a good point.” The word was gently burred with his German accent, and Erik gave him a very slight smile, just the tiniest turn up of his lips as he tipped his head towards Charles. Charles glanced at the man in the seat opposite him and then adjusted himself in the seat, brushing the creases out of his clothes._

_“I’m glad you decided to stay.” Charles said softly, brushing his fingers through his hair and making a thorough mess of what had been neatly controlled and held back. Erik let out a snort of laughter at the sight, and then turned his gaze onto the telepath in front of him._

_“You asked me to stay.” He murmured, reaching for his own glass._

_“Technically I_ inferred _.” There was laughter dancing on the edge of Charles’ words, the smile that tickled the corner of his lips transferring into his speech._

_“Fine, you inferred I stay.” There was a brief pause and Erik looked up at Charles, meeting his bright blue eyes with his own granite ones. “I am… Grateful that you did.”_

_“I needed someone to help me with the children. Though I suppose they aren’t children.” Charles blushed a little, knowing well aware that he sounded like the parent Raven had always told him not to be._

_The weather had been different that night. A warm summer evening where sunlight filtered through the windows until well into the night. They hadn’t needed a fire that night, but they had lit one anyway. There was something about a fire that lent warmth into a room that Charles had always viewed as cold and unfeeling._

_“No. Raven is almost an adult.” Erik’s voice carried a little admonishment, but it was not harsh; Charles had always had problems letting go._

_“I know.” There was a slight pause as Charles dragged his hand down his face. “I know. I’ve just looked out for her my whole life, I don’t really know how to let go.” He shrugged, fingers toying with the rim of his empty glass._

_“She’ll be okay.” Erik soothed, pushing the chess board slightly to one side. “But will you?”_

The memory vanished like smoke in front of him, Erik’s concerned face fading away to the empty chair in front of him. A dull ache had started in the base of Charles’ spine, and the telepath very slowly leaned across to pick up the smooth wooden box that contained the medicine.

“Probably not, no.” He answered the memory, his voice sounding strangely weak in the echoing caverns of the room. His fingers flipped the box open, gingerly tracing across the glass of the syringes. He could feel the cacophony starting up, the burble of voices in the back of his mind. If he didn’t do this soon, he would have to rely on Hank.

Rubber snapped against his arm, bringing a vein to the pale surface.

_Erik._

On the cusp of an explosion of pain and the screaming of thousands of voices beginning to drown him he sent out, as he always did, one more pang of longing.

 _Come back_.

Trembling fingers depressed the plunger of the syringe, sending the serum flooding through his veins. Almost immediately there was relief, there was the receding of the voices and the pain washed away as if on a tide.

Ashamed, the ex-telepath pushed the box aside and curled up in the chair, eyes falling closed as snow continued to drift outside.


End file.
